36 questions

During this past week I’ve seen this article pop up several times from various different sources in my social mediums. Essentially it’s a story about a woman who decides she wants to test Dr. Arthur Aron’s technique on making two strangers fall in love by having them ask each other 36 questions and stare into each other eyes for a full 4! minutes (I can’t even look people in the eyes when I talk to them, much less stare at them for 4 minutes without pause. Completely. Terrifying.)  Her situation is a bit flawed, because she was an acquaintance of the man that agreed to go through the process with her- he was not a stranger,  they were in a bar- not a lab, and it took them far longer than 90 minutes to complete the test.


The article is a basically an account of a few of the questions they asked, some surface-level and fun, some deep that required soul- searching, and some that required evaluation of the person sitting across the table. One of my favorite quotes from the article was “Most of us think about love as something that happens to us. We fall. We get crushed. What I like about this study is that it assumes that love is an action.” She wraps up the article by saying that, yes, her and her study partner did eventually fall in love. They can’t fully credit the survey, but through the process they created an “intimate space” and waited to see what it could become. She ended by saying “Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we both made the choice to be.”

What are your thoughts? Is love completely a choice? or is it fate- all part of a master plan? or a little bit of both? I believe it’s definitely a mixture. I think people are divinely placed in your life (not just for romantic purposes) but it’s your choice on what you decide to do with the situation: be proactive and show interest? or just let an opportunity expire? Love is not just a noun, its a verb and in order for it to be expressed there needs to be some type of action. #twocents

Here are the 36 Questions used in the experiment. Would you be willing to subject yourself to this kind of survey? Most importantly would you let someone stare into your eyes for 4 whole uninterrupted minutes?



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